>So I’m sat, yesterday morning, in the doctors surgery waiting room. It’s a busy morning and the waiting times are long. Naturally I’m surrounded by the merry (though presumably poorly) folk of Chesterfield; men, women and children. I’m sat there in my camoflage jacket, jeans, boots and vest top (as usual); sat in my usual ‘stance’ so to speak. OK, so I was pretty nervous by virtue of my reasons for being there, but otherwise I was perfectly calm and contented.
During the next 20 minutes these things occur: an elderly man can’t stop looking at me, derogatorily. The look on his face says “what the heck is that supposed to be”. A younger man strides in, cool as a cucumber and sort of grunts/grins/acknowledges me (“wotcher mate”) as I smile at his gait. A younger girl keeps eyeing me up, glancing then blushing. I smile warmly. Bless. Other women either disregard me after a cursory glance, or self consciously look anywhere else possible, not wanting meet my eyes. A child running by stops, looks directly at me questioningly, until their parent calls them away embarrassed.
I’m not obviously male, except perhaps to some. Masculine, definitely yes. However I’m also far less obviously female than in the past, but naturally some still spot me. It wryly amuses me, this dance. I smile, contented to just be me. Some will be cool and some will be arses; that’s on them, only my behaviour is on me, and that’s just swell by me. I trust my own behaviour to be mostly good, despite challenges.
So I’m sat there contemplating (even enjoying) all this and then over the loudspeaker comes “would Mrs (wtf??) K… G… please come to room …”. I cringe, sigh softly and stand up.
I swear, american werewolf in london all over again, the whole place stops, the kids stop squawking as though they feel something, all eyes watch me stand up, either grinning or disdainful, ignorant or pleasant. Either way they look and watch, a little surprised by my (incredibly) girly legal forename, as I walk through past reception. Being me, not being remotely bashful or backwards in coming forwards, I simply laugh out loud, continuing to chuckle as I make my way in to see my lovely doctor.
And she IS lovely, for what am I here to discuss with her but gender stuff. Bless her, she’s superb. As a direct result of that conversation, along with the incident in the waiting room…
~ * ~
From changes that began barely perceptibly way back in 2001 (the first appearance of DK so to speak), my life, self and gender identity has evolved to the point where I am simply no longer remotely comfortable being addressed as Kat or LMG. I hope that those who know me by now understand, and respect the change. I’m not doing this to be awkward, believe me ~chuckle~ …for once I’m trying to finally be comfortable. This is me, finally doing something that’s important for me.
However, for those of you remotely uncomfortable with this:
Yes, formerly and for several years I was known as *leathermgoddess* or *Kat* (that’s online nicknames for you); so yes plain old K will do absolutely fine, if you personally are remotely uncomfortable with calling me DK. For reference, Kay is actually the name I’ve been known as (by friends, family, professionally etc) since age 12 anyway, so it’s easy for me to deal with and fairly gender neutral.
Thanks for your time