I’m feeling silly amounts of sad today.
Mostly, we’ve coped pretty well with the pandemic, with a few sad or frustrating times just like everyone. Our garden is a godsend. Our work continues online, so income hasn’t unduly suffered. The kids are resilient, but the teens and pre-teens, gosh they’ve suffered so much. Just when they need to be with friends, when in child development terms they need to turn to peers, rather than parents… they get hit with this, just no, you can’t.
But today? I’m feeling selfishly sad. Such a seemingly small and simple thing, but gosh it made my heart ache.
Yesterday was my son’s 31st birthday; we couldn’t see each other on the day because we were both working late. But today, this morning I whizzed over to give him his gifts and card, and just see his face at least. We were totally safe, stayed outside, not for long and stayed the recommended distance apart. But oh my goodness, how I longed for a hug, to wrap my arms around my own son, my flesh and blood, and hug him silly.
Even typing this I’m getting teary again. There’s something irreplaceable about hugging your grown up kids, nothing else will do; and today covid19 can get in the bin (as the cool kids say), because damnit I WANTED to hug my son SO much, and couldn’t (his lovely fiancée is a nursery school keyworker).
I felt just the same when I saw my daughter Kirsty briefly, because she’s a teacher too, and I haven’t even been able to see Katie at all! As for my grandkids… gosh it smarts, they’re all growing SO fast, and all I want is to see them and hug them silly.
Poor Ash is getting all your hugs as well as their own at the moment (they still live at home with us and are totally safe as, even more so than us as they aren’t going anywhere), and they’re not exactly the hugger of the family so are definitely taking one for the team!
But in truth I really can’t risk getting covid19 again, I’m genuinely not sure I’d actually survive it a second time. Damn right I’ll be having the vaccination the very moment I’m able, if ONLY because then I’ll at least be able to hug my own (other) kids.
I love you guys, heaps and oodles, and I’m warning you, you all have a lot ginormous amount of hugs to catch me up on after the apocalypse!